I got a wake up call when I realized all the loans I took out for school actually went for school. I'm only working part-time at Menards now which is just enough to pay the rent and bills. My phase of being poor wasn't really a phase, but actually permanent. I took out another loan so I would have extra cash to feed me (being poor is the best diet). I won't see that money for another month which means no time off for a Christmas break. I have to wait a few more days to find out if I even get Christmas Eve off. This is by far the sadest Christmas ever for me. It doesn't even feel like Christmas. Only one house on my street put lights up, I'm used to everyone in my whole town putting up lights. Plus we don't have a tree or any decorations and we haven't had any snow yet. I did get a Christmas present from Menards, 55 dollars in Menards money and this. In two weeks someone I love and care about very deeply will be in London for 5 months and I only get to see hi...

Due to work and school I wasn't able to go home for Thanksgiving, but I survived because my sister"s" came up to be with me. We made chicken instead of turkey. I made pie but the dog ate it. Morgan was wonderful and made everything. We were able to eat for 3 days. We did a lot of other things and I still managed to budget my money. It really stinks to be completly broke, I've never been this poor in my entire life. All my money is going towards rent which leaves me with absolutly nothing. I dream of the day my loan check comes. My battery in my camera died so I missed a lot of great photo opportunities. I got a new job doing stock at American Eagle. Menards found out before I told them. I've never seen my manager so sad. I did a lot of knitting during my "Thanksgiving break". I made a scarf for a girl at work and a washcloth for Brittany. I decided I'd model the scarf. I'm still working hard on Scott's sweater. I'm probably going to have...

I finally made the trip back home this weekend for my cousins wedding that I barely know. Well that's 3 down only 30+ more to go to. I really wish I had the whole week off, it didn't even feel like I went home it went by so fast. We left late Friday night and early on Sunday. Scott finally met my mother, I had been putting it off for a very long time. I think he understands why. I won't be back until Christmas but at least I'll be there long enough to see everyone. I did at least get to see Cevonne and Amanda so it wasn't a complete waste of time. I look like I'm living in the wrong decade. School has started. I hate my online class, I hope I never have to take a class online again, it's so impersonal and so much work. At least it's only art history so I know what I'm doing. My other class has only 6 people in it. We design menus. This week at Menards I get to make up my own schedule, so whenever I'm bored I can go to work.

I went to Chicago again this past weekend. Who knows when I'll be going back again, possibly Christmas break. I wish I could go every weekend if it didn't cost so much money. We finally went to the Art Museum. I've been wanting to go for years now. I was most excited to see this painting by Georges Seurat. It was so much neater to see it in person than in text books. We had to rush through most of the museum due to lack of time. Someday I'll go there by myself and spend all day. This time we got to do more sightseeing and walked around what felt like the whole city of Chicago. I love the architecture and sculptures there. Today I found a note on my car from the police saying my car rolled into another parked car. It seems strange that it happened seeing as there are no scratches or dents and I have to put my parking break on to be in park. I no longer have to get up before the sun comes up anymore. It's the best feeling in the world.

I've been pretty busy all week with many visitors. Zach, Ann, Jolene, and her boyfriend Adam came up last weekend. It's hard hanging out with them and not having money. I was glad to see them though since the last time I saw them was in June. It's nice that even though we didn't talk much the past few months things are still the same and conversations aren't akward. Two days later Cevonne and Blake came up. Cevonne and I had plans to go see our favorite band and my future husband. When we got there (two hours late) we found that it was sold out. The ticket man said if we wait 10 minutes he might let us in. I thought it was fate that we finally made it in. Well, the opening band was just finishing and then Jesse walks out. Unfortunatly my husband got food poisoning and wasn't able to sing. Poor Cevonne drove 5 hours to see them. I guess it was ok because we were getting really sick of all the 16 year girls pushing us. We made up for it by making Blake play Girl T...

I've made my decision after giving it much thought and I have decided that I'm going to be a baker. My sweetooth convinced me that this could be an exciting job for me, plus I'll never be hungry. For the first time ever I am really excited to be going to school, I can not wait. When I was in 2nd grade I wanted to be a baker and in 8th grade we had to take a test on what our career is going to be by what our interests were and guess what mine was...cake decorator. So really I knew it all along that this was my future and it took me this long to figure it out. I'll be done in 2 years and then I'm off to Chicago..which is where I went this last weekend. I already know where I want to live and I have ideas on places where I want to work. And someday I'll be making these... My wonderful indian friend has come to visit me twice in the past week or so. I hope she comes around more, along with all the others. I'm knitting the boyfriend a sweater. I'm a little ...

Sorry for the lack of updates. One reason being that I'm never actually at my house anymore and I figured my life was too boring to write about. Well, up until today it was. I am no longer a schooless wonder. I won't get jealous whenever I drive by the U, because....I go to school now. Woo. But...at a school I didn't think I would be going to up until today. It was just an idea a week ago and today I was convinced this is the school for me. I'm going to the Art Institutes International Minnesota. Something I should of done a long time ago. Why did it take so long for me to realize I should go to art school like I originally planned. I'm actually stuck between the photography program and the baking and pastry program. I know two totally different fields, hopefully the winter semester will help me decide. I don't know I do love my cake. C'mon who wouldn't want to eat that. I've pretty much been working everyday now. My arm is better so I'm back to...

As you can see I am wearing a sling. Why you ask? Well it all started Thursday morning when I being the nice person that I am decided to help out Scottie and his roomates move into their new house. Everyone had gone back to their old house to get more stuff and I stayed behind to finish unpacking things out of my car. I was walking back to my car and thought it would be faster if I went in between a trailer and a van. Being the clumsy person that I am I somehow tripped in the process, ripping my jeans as well. Not thinking I had broken my arm I continued to carry things into to the house. My arm did hurt a little, but I thought it was no big deal. I had to leave for work. When I got home I noticed a huge bump on my elbow, I became worried at this point and called my mom. She said it was probably just bruised. I put ice on it as I was driving, when I got to the mall I saw the bump had gotten bigger. I was really concerned now so I thought I would go to first aid and see if someone there...

Yesterday Scott and I biked this. That's a wopping 41 miles around the city. It has been my goal all summer to do the whole thing and I did it. I got to see parts of the city I had never seen before. I'm glad Scott likes biking as much as I do. I've been working more, but I still seem to be short on money. I need to win the lottery or get a third job. It feels weird not going to school this fall. For the first time since I was 3 I won't have homework. I'm kind of disappointed in a way. I wish I could go to school, taking a semester off was a bad idea. I'm going to be in school til I'm 30.

I've had a pretty eventful week with vistors and traveling. It started with my parents and little brother driving out west (to my dad I live far away) to come visit me. It was my mom and brothers first time being in the cities and they seemed to like it. I basically dragged them along to do all the things I've always wanted to do. I then went down to Milwaukee for my last time this summer and probably for awhile. As I say this I know I'll probably be back in 2 weeks because that seems to be the pattern this summer. Scott is moving back up here next week so maybe I won't. I've been to Milwaukee more times than I have been home. I enjoyed that city and all its frozen custard, hopefully I'll make it back down there soon. But finally after 6 months we won't have to drive 2-5 hours just to see each other for only a few days. Now I'll be able to see him whenever I want. I then drove back up to Little Chute for the day. It wasn't as exciting as it usually i...

Today we went up to Medicine Lake to do some boating activites. Since I won't be able to make it up to my cottage this year I was glad I got to do that before summer ended. I really think I'm having the best summer ever. Well, I say that every year so I'm not sure, but this summer has been pretty great. Yep that's me kneeboarding. My first time too, I was pretty proud of myself. I'm working a lot now. 60 hours this week. It's good money, but now I won't be able to enjoy the rest of my summer. I don't have time to go the beach or for any bike rides anymore. Working at the mall of america isn't such a good idea either, I keep wanting to buy things. Gnarls Barkley was there a few days ago, so maybe I'll see some celebrities.

I know I said I couldn't take anymore trips home or to Milwaukee, but I never said anything about Chicago. I had the opportunity to go with my ST so why wouldn't I take it. We went to the Pitchfork Music Festival. I'd rather go to Lollapalooza, but I still had fun anyway. I got to see/hear some cool bands like The Walkmen, The Futureheads, Ted Leo and the Pharmacists and Jens Lekman. I finally got to eat at Burrito House after listening to Scott talk about it for months, I wish we had one here. 2 days wasn't enough time to be there, I need to go for like a week. Since I was 13 I've wanted to live in Chicago and in high school I decided that's where I'll live when I finish school. I'm 21 and only half way done, this is going to take a few more years. First I have to figure out what the heck I want to do with the rest of my life. Driving home was no fun. 5 hours in 100 degree heat with no air conditioning. Someday I'll buy my dream car until then I...

I was feeling like I was getting a little too old for xanga, especially since my little brother and all his friends were getting one. But since I am obsessed with strangers reading about my life I stumbled upon a more "grown up" blog. I'm still trying to figure this whole thing out so bare with me until I do.